Tomorrow I start my first day back at work since I took the time off for my surgery. I work in a small cafe and I love my job so much...but am not looking forward to having to wear real pants.This entire week I have been in over sized pajama pants because my stomach was the size of a 5 month pregnant women( guess I will know what to expect when I actually become preggo). These pants are so roomy, soft, fluffy, and don't make me feel suffocated like a pair of jeans do. For about a week at work I could probably get away with wearing my sweatpants and yoga pants....but I feel that eventually i'm gonna have to squeeze my chubby ass into a pair of jeans just to look acceptable to the rest of the world.
Even though my stomach has shrank a significant amount since my surgery, I still have what some women call 'The Endo Belly'. I have(although I'm hating to admit this) gained weight in the past few years due to my endo, the stress(I'm a stress eater), depression, and not doing as much physical activity as I should be doing...i really just hate the gym with a passion. But what happens to my belly is completely different. One minute my stomach looks flat,delightful, and I'm not embarrassed to wear tight shirts. The next minute my stomach can bloat out like crazy for no actual reason. I am a petite person(only being 4'11 in height) so when my stomach decides to magically grow, its mortifying and I get ashamed of my body. I love myself, don't get me wrong. I am proud of myself, what I have accomplished in life, and I don't think I am overly displeasing to look at. But when my body decides to have a freak out, i resort back to being a 16 year old girl who was constantly worrying about her looks and weight...Which is a feeling that I hate because I know that I am perfect just the way I am(Or so my fiance tells me...god love him and his little fibs to make me feel beautiful).
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